Hey, I’m that kinda girl who was raised to be wholesome and proper. Now don’t get me wrong, that means I have classy sass in great quantities, but I did lack the comfort to converse in a sexy manner over the phone. The first time my boyfriend sent me a (delightful) NSFW pic I about blushed out of my mind. I had no idea how to respond. I’ve discovered a few things since then, here are my six tips specifically to respond to a sext when your shy or new.
1.) If you like it, encourage it!
Remember if they are sexting you, they already want you. If you are comfortable with their message but not sure how to respond in an encouraging manner then the first step is to acknowledge your interest.
”Wow! No one's ever been quite so sexy with me!” It is a simple style of response that is encouraging but also great for the new sexter or the shy.
2.) If you don't like it, speak up.
Unlike tip one this deals with the reverse. Sometimes we get sexts we do not want. While you can of course just say stop. You can also respond with discouraging grace. Something like, ”I appreciate your interest but I think it's best we keep our discussion at a friend's only level.” A variation of this message to fit the people involved works in many situations.
3.) Playful Engagement
So you've received a NSFW message, maybe even a picture, and you really want to respond with something sexy, but your not sure your quite comfortable with an equally NSFW response. The solution is to be playful. Let's say you do get a nude pic. A playful lead in response could be, ”Mmmm. So sexy. 😘 Do you know what that picture makes me want to do?”
From this point, you can get as descriptive as you want or just keep it low key. A low key response when they ask “What?” would be along the lines of, “Ravish you completely!” Or “Kiss you senseless.”
4.) Subtle Seduction
Respond to those sexy texts with slightly teasing images that do not actually reveal but hint at a reveal. Something like a bikini picture for example. You can also respond in words with just a hint of sexy. For example, if they send that they want to fuck you. (Hopefully with more class.) You can respond with something seductive like,” In what positions?”
5.) Putting it all out there
Listen, if you are just sexting and not taking it any further in person then this tip Isn’t for you. But if you plan to, or do already sleep with this person then don’t hold back! I know it can be hard to be comfortable saying sexy things like, “Thinking about your hard cock makes me so wet” but honestly, if you are already doing it in person or plan to, then let go of your inhibitions. You are going to get naked with this person. Words are nothing compared to that.
6.) Roleplay is Okay
Remember if your new to sexting, sexting is basically role play as yourself in written form. While I recommend only sexting things you are comfortable with, it is okay to be a bit out there during sexting. You do not have to stay written vanilla. In fact, sexting some fantasy can be a great door opener to talks about things you both might like to try in person.
There you have it, my six tips for the shy or new sexter. Happy sexting everyone.
I'm a woman who sees the world a bit differently. I've studied relationships, both through those around me, my own experiences & through traditional education on how human psychology affects our interpersonal connections for over ten years. This is my story, my advice, and my not so humble opinions.